So I've been thinking about our western society and how we have grown to live in our nuclear family. When I really consider the history behind how we have gotten to where we are, I feel that it looks like a rebellious child who seems very much like the prodigal son. There was a time where we lived with our extended family, there was a time where we learned from our elders. There was a time where our elders were held in HIGH esteem, and they were respected as wise teachers. Lately I' feel like some where along the way we have really lost this, our throw away society has also started throwing away people. A bit of me has to wonder if the dementia and Alzheimer's issues are coming from the lack of use of the knowledge stored. I know that is not really the way it is, but a part of me wonders as not using a muscle will usually lead to it atrophying.
The saying is "It takes a village to raise a child". I do believe this as I find it helpful when I 'm able to find comfort and advise in friends and mentors who have 'been there done that'. I've been thinking about this allot lately as I have been listening to the struggles of mothers who are turning to 'happy pills' because it is hard to find support for the seemingly 'off the wall' decision to be a stay at home mom. Years ago I remember that moms got together (not just on the computer) and did things with their kids together. Moms got to talk, connect and grow as parents; learn new skills from each other and share experiences, as did the kids who would run off to the park together to play. Currently we don't see as much of this for so many reasons. It sometimes take two incomes to achieve what we think we would like. There is (unfortunately) little value placed where there is no paycheck. As a society (not all of us think this way, but if you ask around it is surprising to see how many do) we value the money that is made, not just as a way to provide for our families, but as the status marker of our self-worth. Sort of sad to think that someone who devotes their time to selfless acts helping others, and who may not get paid for it is most often looked upon as 'not as valuable'.
With a bit of reading I have found it interesting how I've been able to change my paradigm.There have been several books and many conversations over the past year to really get this going, one of which was becoming a minimalist runner. This has led to seeing the need for over-abundance programmed into our lifestyle, the need to consume..... lots! I've been able to really check out what I think my needs really are, put my wants into perspective, and hopefully raise my kids with a bit of a different take on how the world works. Or at least, how it could work.
I am finding it interesting to see that there are other cultures who revere their elders and they live in an extended family where the young adults learn from the experienced ones. This seems especially helpful when there are children involved, as I know my mother was much more patient and relaxed around my children than I am. She was also not shy to call other children on their behaviour when it was necessary and they were about to get themselves hurt. I sometimes wonder if she thought anything about what others might think. Did she care that someone might be offended that she corrected a child that was not hers? I like to think that she didn't, that she was strong enough in her convictions of what is right that it would not matter to her what others thought. (I still live in my own little bubble sometimes!) I want to see this in myself, I want to be that person who would get involved. There are a few close friends where we can correct each others children, but I think I can remember a time where I would have been afraid if ANY adult was around that I would get in trouble. This doesn't seem to be a concern for today's children at all.
As our society seems to be developing we are pulling away from each other and are connecting less and less physically with each other. There was a time where we bought our food from the farmer, meet from a butcher, and so on. This year was the first time I had done so many things, bought food from the farmer at the farmers market, went to a butcher to find meet, bought meet from a farmer at the farmers market. I found it interesting that there are people who can attach me to my food, not just a store that I can go and not even see a person at the check out if I don't want to. So much 'connecting' is done 'online' that there doesn't need to be any real relationship made between those communicating. Not in a way that keeps us accountable. It is done in a way that keeps us from getting involved. When we are not involved and not accountable are we not responsible?
I was listening to a sermon this past week at found a passage from the time of the early church where people are living in a community closely enough that they are often eating together (probably in small groups) and sharing all that they have. When one was in need then someone else provided it, even if they had to sell off their own stuff to provide it!
Acts 2:45-46
And they sold their possessions (both their land and their movable goods) and distributed the price among all, according as any had need. And day after day they regularly assembled in the temple with united purpose, and in their homes they broke bread [including the Lords' Supper]. They partook of their food with gladness and simplicity and generous hearts,
That seems like a pretty awesome family support system. I like to see the part where they eat with gladness, which tells me they are really enjoying their food, they are eating consciously, and this is not what we seem to do today with our food and sometimes even with our living. Being aware of our choices take purposeful thought about what we are doing and why we are doing it. It is interesting to me that I can go through a day where I've done things on auto-pilot. Again, something to learn from and be aware of.
Of course now I seem to have rambled enough I should finally post this to hold myself accountable to the thoughts that invade my brain.
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