It takes a village....

So I've been thinking about our western society and how we have grown to live in our nuclear family. When I really consider the history behind how we have gotten to where we are, I feel that it looks like a rebellious child who seems very much like the prodigal son. There was a time where we lived with our extended family, there was a time where we learned from our elders. There was a time where our elders were held in HIGH esteem, and they were respected as wise teachers. Lately I' feel like some where along the way we have really lost this, our throw away society has also started throwing away people. A bit of me has to wonder if the dementia and Alzheimer's issues are coming from the lack of use of the knowledge stored. I know that is not really the way it is, but a part of me wonders as not using a muscle will usually lead to it atrophying.

The saying is "It takes a village to raise a child". I do believe this as I find it helpful when I 'm able to find comfort and advise in friends and mentors who have 'been there done that'. I've been thinking about this allot lately as I have been listening to the struggles of mothers who are turning to 'happy pills' because it is hard to find support for the seemingly 'off the wall' decision to be a stay at home mom. Years ago I remember that moms got together (not just on the computer) and did things with their kids together. Moms got to talk, connect and grow as parents; learn new skills from each other and share experiences, as did the kids who would run off to the park together to play. Currently we don't see as much of this for so many reasons. It sometimes take two incomes to achieve what we think we would like. There is (unfortunately) little value placed where there is no paycheck. As a society (not all of us think this way, but if you ask around it is surprising to see how many do) we value the money that is made, not just as a way to provide for our families, but as the status marker of our self-worth. Sort of sad to think that someone who devotes their time to selfless acts helping others, and who may not get paid for it is most often looked upon as 'not as valuable'.

With a bit of reading I have found it interesting how I've been able to change my paradigm.There have been several books and many conversations over the past year to really get this going, one of which was becoming a minimalist runner. This has led to seeing the need for over-abundance programmed into our lifestyle, the need to consume..... lots! I've been able to really check out what I think my needs really are, put my wants into perspective, and hopefully raise my kids with a bit of a different take on how the world works. Or at least, how it could work.

I am finding it interesting to see that there are other cultures who revere their elders and they live in an extended family where the young adults learn from the experienced ones. This seems especially helpful when there are children involved, as I know my mother was much more patient and relaxed around my children than I am. She was also not shy to call other children on their behaviour when it was necessary and they were about to get themselves hurt. I sometimes wonder if she thought anything about what others might think. Did she care that someone might be offended that she corrected a child that was not hers? I like to think that she didn't, that she was strong enough in her convictions of what is right that it would not matter to her what others thought. (I still live in my own little bubble sometimes!) I want to see this in myself, I want to be that person who would get involved. There are a few close friends where we can correct each others children, but I think I can remember a time where I would have been afraid if ANY adult was around that I would get in trouble. This doesn't seem to be a concern for today's children at all.

As our society seems to be developing we are pulling away from each other and are connecting less and less physically with each other. There was a time where we bought our food from the farmer, meet from a butcher, and so on. This year was the first time I had done so many things, bought food from the farmer at the farmers market, went to a butcher to find meet, bought meet from a farmer at the farmers market. I found it interesting that there are people who can attach me to my food, not just a store that I can go and not even see a person at the check out if I don't want to. So much 'connecting' is done 'online' that there doesn't need to be any real relationship made between those communicating. Not in a way that keeps us accountable. It is done in a way that keeps us from getting involved. When we are not involved and not accountable are we not responsible?

I was listening to a sermon this past week at found a passage from the time of the early church where people are living in a community closely enough that they are often eating together (probably in small groups) and sharing all that they have. When one was in need then someone else provided it, even if they had to sell off their own stuff to provide it!

Acts 2:45-46
And they sold their possessions (both their land and their movable goods) and distributed the price among all, according as any had need. And day after day they regularly assembled in the temple with united purpose, and in their homes they broke bread [including the Lords' Supper]. They partook of their food with gladness and simplicity and generous hearts,

That seems like a pretty awesome family support system. I like to see the part where they eat with gladness, which tells me they are really enjoying their food, they are eating consciously, and this is not what we seem to do today with our food and sometimes even with our living. Being aware of our choices take purposeful thought about what we are doing and why we are doing it. It is interesting to me that I can go through a day where I've done things on auto-pilot. Again, something to learn from and be aware of.

Of course now I seem to have rambled enough I should finally post this to hold myself accountable to the thoughts that invade my brain.

on to the run!

I have been told that to weigh a decision, you should use peace as your measure. After signing up for the run this weekend, I have been at peace. The turmoil about whether this was the right thing to do or not has come to an end, I am very much looking forward to trying to accomplish this distance once again. Apparently there are only 4 days to go!

So onto other things, like getting that peace in other parts of my life.

Fear, trust, & a control freak

I'm facing, fear I think? It is interesting the opportunities that arise, doors that open, and all the like phrases. Disappointment of not being able to run a race that I had planned seems to have taken my training and made it a bit less important in the scheme of life priorities. Now an opportunity has presented itself, and I may be able to run after all.

If I trust in my faith and the strength that I know will come from above, than I have nothing to fear. Lately trust is something that has been evasive. Maybe I am finding it hard to trust so much in God's hands, I am a bit of a control freak. I know He can handle it all, but it is so very hard to give it over. There is so much going on, and yet nothing is really happening, but not much can happen until some decisions are made and I don't think the requirements have been met for any decision to be made yet.... limbo seems to describe it well. The waiting, and not being in control of anything. This is one of those lessons I think I'm to be learning. Personally I think I'm doing well with this one, considering I'm a bit of a control freak. So here is what I will hold onto this weekend:

Proverbs 3:5 "Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding." 3:6"In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths."

So I have signed up for the run I had resigned myself to not run (I was supporting my husbands need to get in the marathon run), and I will rely on Gods' strength to get me through to the finish. I will no longer question 'why' the opportunity has presented itself, I will just be thankful and say yes. I will be very thankful!

Have a great weekend everyone!

So out on my run this morning I had some different thoughts, which seemed to make sense at the time. Now that I have the time to try and write them down, I'm hoping they still continue to make sense.

Thinking back to the beginning of the world, Adam and Eve. (Yes it's gonna be one of those ramblings) They get kicked out of the garden for disobedience, just that pure and simple. They disobeyed God. Given everything, they chose to not listen to the instruction given. They get everything, want for nothing, and yet after a simple planting of an idea, they suddenly seem to want more, actually they want for the one thing they are instructed they should not have. Hm mm, I think too much of this sounds too familiar! Obedience is something I think we, I, will struggle with for too long a time. This got me to thinking about a few other things though...

Food, yes, the food we eat.

Genesis 1:29-30 Then God said, "I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food. And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds of the air and all the creatures that move on the ground- everything that has the breath of life in it- I give every green plant for food." And it was so.

Everything we need was given to us. God has provided for us what we need, and in our greed we cry out for more. (In the beginning it was the promise of knowledge that led to the choice of disobedience) Then later, in our greed, we have hoarded our food and resources, not sharing with our neighbours (other countries). Not even sharing medicines which are in abundance for some and for others it is scarce.

When Adam and Eve get kicked from the garden they then had to provide for themselves, God of course had made sure that they were given all the things they needed to provide for themselves, they just had to work for it now. This carries us to the present where we have done everything in the western world to make our lives easier. This also includes our food and how we choose to eat these days.

We have created for ourselves the busy lifestyles to provide for our families. What are we providing for our families? This is something that has recently been on my mind. Aside from the basics of food (what we now are calling food), clothing, and shelter, there are so many other things we have stuffed into the need category that are really wants. First I think I will return to the food. We are feeding ourselves and our families stuffs that our great grandparents would never recognize. So many things are processed that many kids don't know what some vegetables look like. I am in such a hurry to get to the next place, to do the next thing, that I am feeding my family in the car (there have been too many pizza picnics in the car this year), eating has become so much less than what it was. There is no cooking and eating as a family anymore (for the majority of our western society). There are lessons not being passed down from one generation to another because we are relying on technology to fill the gaps. Who needs to cook with MC Donald's around the corner? Or there is always the local pizzas place, (there are two specifically that we, as a family, frequent). As kids these were novelties, now they are the norm.

My eyes were really opened this year on our summer vacation, as I had the chance to sit and talk with my sister we discovered that our mother didn't know how to eat much better either. She thought that she was eating healthy, diet everything, low fat everything and she would really watch her portions; yet she remained overweight. Here we were a few years after our mom's death and we are in a discussion about our eating habits, and what we learned from our mom. In retrospect we see how her baking was allot from scratch, with a whole lot of white flour and white processed sugar, and many of our dinners came from the boxed or canned meals or time saver meal making things. I find this interesting because I'm wondering where my homemaking skills are. I'm a terrible homemaker! Although I am learning, very slowly, as to what needs to be changed in our family lifestyle for our household to work; in a healthy way. My sister also discovered that she also needed to make some changes over the past few years as well. Her changes also came in the form of foods and healthy fresh choices. This takes time though! To purchase a fresh vegetable you then need to go home, chop, and cook it. This is a lost art for many, and I am one of them. With all the running around though it is hard to find the time to MAKE our food, to sit and have a meal with each other, to even get to the store to get the food in the first place. Asparagus was cooked in my home for the very first time this year, as well as beets.

One of the books that I found hard to read this year was Michael Poland's' "In Defence Of Food". This was an amazing book which has started my journey into a new though pattern when it comes to the food I am eating and feeding to my family. The way I see labels on our food now is read completely differently, and I am more likely to read the ingredients than just the so-called nutrition label. Nutrition on the whole is now viewed differently after this book. I have also found "The Eat Clean Diet" by Tosca Reno to be helpful, and "Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution" (by Jamie Oliver) also to help me down this road of actual food and not just 'imitation foods'.

Now just to take a small break and connect this up with some earlier thoughts, I want to be aware of where my info comes from, and if it is correct, then it should check along side the beliefs set out in the Bible. Truth is truth.

Proverbs 20:17 "Food gained by fraud tastes sweet to a man, but he ends up with a mouthful of gravel"

I have started to view the genetically modified foods as fraudulent, definitely sweet, not sure about the gravel in my mouth (hard, dry, salty, unsatisfying) but I would say that it does not do well in my stomach. As I think back to all the foods that were once considered 'imitation' foods I wonder how we have accepted them into our everyday lives. Then I think about what I'm going to feed my family tonight as we have sports to be at and I will need to return to work, and there is a window of 20 minutes where we will sit and eat, and I answer this question as I pick up the phone and call to order the pizza for dinner. The process of changing one's lifestyle is a journey which will take more time than I would like and efforts that have yet to be discovered, the process of changing one's FAMILY lifestyle will be an adventure of unknown challenges. Although that is what it is going to take to keep my kids growing healthy, both physically and spiritually.

After all these books, I have come to the conclusion that they seem to hold up well in their information to lead me towards a Truth. I am going to try to use a personal standard of the Bible as a guide to make decisions by when I look into how the best possible way it is that I can change my families lifestyle to. Baby steps to start on the new road, hoping to not get sidetracked along the way.

It has become very interesting how our education has been directed towards the process of consuming, more than it has towards caring. Our foods are marketed as healthy and whole, quick and easy, when really they are not as healthy or whole. They have been pieced together for us with a little nutrition added, a vitamin here a mineral there. I find it an awakening to be able to view what I have been taught, (still relating to foods here) as wrong information. It is freeing to find out there are so many other options for how we can raise our families, how we will feed them. The social norm does not have to be our norm, and there are others out there. We don't have to consume as machines droning on in our activities of everyday, we can enjoy the journey, stopping to take the time to make things as simple (actually not so simple for some of us) as cooking dinner together an event, not just a process of consuming.

So here's to life and living to the fullest of our days.