Grateful Hearts

I have had some busy days over the past month. With busyness came so many things, but I have had the time to count blessings. I think this is important as I really believe that we have forgotten to do this as a society. Not everyone, but allot of us have.

Last Thursday I experienced a grateful heart. The entire day I could only feel ecstatic for all the wonderful people I have had the opportunity to meet. For those I've know for a while, I am thankful to have them in my life (even if I only get to see them every one or two years).

I am blessed in so many ways, a wonderful husband, two awesome kids, a great city where I can afford to live, schools my children can attend, grand parents for my kids, family I can hang out with (even the in-laws), the ability to work, the ability to play, the ability to feed my kids. It sounds like simple things, yet it has been a week of eye-opening as I run around and realize that we sometimes take these small things for granted. I have the tendency to get up-tight and frustrated with things easily and now I sometimes ask myself WHY? Is this something that really matters? Sometimes it is, and many times it does not, and so many others it can be a learning experience for both my children and myself if I choose to just not loose my temper and recognize the opportunity.

It is hard to have a grateful heart all the time, but I want to live here more. I want to experience life from this perspective more. It has to be a choice though. I was listening to a sermon the other day and she said 'it takes no effort to find the bad, you just have to wait and it will find you. You just have to do nothing for disease to find you. There is a choice involved for finding good. You have to choose health, this needs to be a conscious decision, then there needs to be an effort and an action.' How true when you think about it.

It strikes me as interesting; I find this to be a simple truth, and yet not so simple when you realize this is a choice we make every day. In the foods we eat, it does take longer to make our food rather than buy it already done. The activities we choose, taking our kids here and there (this can also be a great thing) yet we don't make the most of this time, or we don't find the time to do the activity with them. Small choices we make every day, and some of the time it is not a conscious decision it is just a habit of convenience.

This behaviour is learned in our society. We have been taught to consume and buy and to not think much further than our own comfort. It has to be a conscious decision when we stop to re-educate ourselves. I think about the movie "The Matrix". The scene where Neo is sitting in the chair and he needs to make a decision, one he can never go back from. Does he take the pill? or does he continue off into the blissful existence of not knowing? Once we know certain things, there really is no going back. Once we see the truth, it is some thing we can not turn away from.

This is all really heavy this morning so I think I will stop here and digest some breakfast and coffee. I will do so with a grateful heart as I watch my children enjoy the morning, and we watch the sun come out from behind the clouds.

Have a fantastic day.

Nicole

Wow...... A lesson in being there

It has been an interesting week. I was really sad to find out that a couple of friends who have been married for 15 years have decided to split up and separate.They were married a month after my husband and myself, we actually stole their wedding date, by accident (long story). There are no kids involved, a couple of dogs, a house and two adult lives.

I've decided that I think that I need to be a better friend. That this could happen and I stand by completely oblivious to it all? I am naturally naive, but here I now just feel neglect full. Not that I could have done anything at all but to not even have a clue that two close friends were in trouble? I am disappointed in my by standing behaviour and attitude.

This couple I have admired in many ways. They never minded the other had outside interests. They seemed to encourage each other in their separate interests. This is something I have admired over the years in this couple. This is all new so I probably don't and won't ever have the whole story. I don't need the story.I really just need it to know that I have to make a better effort to be a friend.

One of the running things I have said to have incorporated into my life is 'improve personal relationships', here I have previously failed. So now I will study harder. I will make more of an effort to be out there, caring and just being there when a friend needs me. Maybe even when they don't need me, just because.... that's what friends do!

There is the story of Job in the bible. There is a time in his life when all is lost, with the exception of his faith, and his friends gather around him. Allot of stupid things are said, all trying to make him feel better, but all he really needs is someone there to just be, to just be there. Nothing needs to be said, there is something to be said in not having to say something at all. Anyways, I need to put in the time to just be there. Nothing more, nothing less.

This brings to mind another situation where I was probably a bit neglect full of a dear friend by trying to be kind and not hurtful. All I can do now is pray and let them know that I am here, whenever the need arises, I am here. So that is what I will do, I will let them know I am here. Every month (every week seems stalker like) I will leave a message on their answering machine to let them know I miss them, and that is all. I won't let the situation get the better (bitter) of me. I will put the work into 'improving personal relationships'.

This is a hard lesson to look at, as I have always considered myself a really great person for a friend, but to see how I have taken my friendships for granted has once again led me to another lesson in humility. And a real eye opener to the world around me. This is not an easy thing to do, look at myself this closely inside, but after the shock of seeing those around me in such.....? Not sure what to call it, as things are seeming quite amicable right now with the separating couple.? To be so oblivious to those who have been hurting? Yes, it is time for me to step up the efforts! To go out of my way for those I love and hold dear to me.

So that is the only warning if you happen to be a friend of mine and are reading this, I love you all so dearly, you are such wonderful people, and I plan to make sure you know it!

Have a great week!

Nicole

Feeling the road

So I had a great run this weekend! The only reason it was great is that I finished and came away with some new lessons learned. I really learn more about myself as I run, some things I would prefer to not know. But then I guess I couldn't do anything about things I don't like if I don't first admit to needing a change?

I had been training in my vibram five fingers, then on race day I gave them up for my husband to wear, and I went out in my old water shoes. This was not a smart thing to do. I didn't realize how differently you feel the road in the VFF's, as it is much closer to barefoot than a water shoe. I think this surprised me as the water shoe has what seems to be a thinner softer sole, where as the VFF's have a harder sole but one that fits much closer to the form of your foot. Moving from a water shoe to the VFF's is an easier transition than back tracking from the VFF's to the water shoe. Once one gets used to feeling the road under your feet, going back I seemed to loose my stride, the placement of my foot on the road. It matters.

It matters what road we choose to tread on. It matters that we can connect with our bodies that have been so wonderfully made. It matters that we can connect with the world around us, and the road under us.

Well if you have read a bit of this blog you may be seeing where I'm gonna go with this now.... I'm really believing that God made us wonderful, and He made our feet to do a job that they are well equipped to do. We were not made broken. In the awesome book "Born to run, a hidden tribe, super athletes, and the greatest race the world will never see" the author Christopher McDougall writes about our consumerism (or a company's greed) as part of the driving force for the creation of bigger and better shoes. He also writes about how many people felt that our evolution has gone well with the exception of our feet, which need help, according to some specialists. He then goes on to provide support and studies which prove these people wrong. To me this supports the case that God has created us perfectly. (not that we are perfect in our choices, but that is another story altogether!) God did not leave out our cushioning, He is our soft cozy place to go when we need comfort. This leads me to another thought... maybe we were meant to FEEL the road, EXPERIENCE our journey, LIVE our lives.

This is a lesson I think I will experience all week as I remember the differences of running barefoot with fitted protective covering, one that let's me feel the road and still protects me from serious injury; and one that fits loosely over me to dull the feel of the road altogether, and does not really protect me.

Above is a picture of the park where we ran. This is the trees by the zoo as we were walking back to our car after the race, what really caught my eye was the incredible colors in the trees.

Have a fantastic week!

Nicole

Random thoughts the night before a long run

A quote I heard last night:

"Better to be with Jesus in over your head in the deep water, than to sit comfortably on the safe shore!"

I think I will just have to trust this as I seem to get myself in over my head time and time again. Another of my favorite quotes is "Bite off more than you can chew, then chew it!" I can't recall her name at the moment, but she is a business woman in the US. This is the quote which got me to sign up for my first half marathon. After I signed up for my first half clinic I did feel over my head, now I'm feeling that again. I must enjoy it, I keep doing it to myself.

I find that I need something to motivate me, if I sign up for an event then I need to train, if there is no event there is no goal, there is no need to train. I have goals, a reason to train, a need to get in over my head. Looking forward to this month as I am looking forward to my first marathon. I will hold on dearly to some scripture as I go though.

But tomorrow is another day. Actually tomorrow is Sunday and I am excited about running another half marathon. This one I get to run with my husband, it is his first and I hope I can keep up. He just started running these last 6 months and has been doing really well. Previously he hasn't been able to run at all as his knees would usually give out after about 10 feet, so with the new stride as a barefooter he has trained for and will run his first half tomorrow. Lucky us, my running partner has girls old enough to babysit, and so we are getting the opportunity to run together. We have done a 5km, a 10km and this will be our first half! I am truly blessed!

Have a great weekend.

Nicole

Bystanding not alowed...

I really love the sunrises and sunsets I'm getting to experience this year. I'm not sure why it is so important for me to feel that I should share it, but I do.

So.... it has been a while! I've had some thoughts but I have seemed to run out of time to sit and contemplate, much less for trying to write them down. Although some things don't, or shouldn't be contemplated over too much anyways! Being a girl... well, do I need to say more? It's what we do!

This week has been interesting as I am learning to not be a bystander! I hadn't even realized what was happening as I was going through my days, then, as I'm reading a great book about how to get kids more involved with the world around them, I recognize things that we (as a society) turn our backs on. Or maybe we just stand off and watch as we patiently wait for someone else to take care of things.

Out for a nice run this weekend, my running partner and I found a smoldering pile of ashes. We contemplated how we should take care of this mess sitting in the middle of the forest. (the campfire had been on concrete at least) Could we leave it here and hope that it would be fine? What if a spark blew off and the whole forest went up? NO. We had to take care of it, actually we called to find if someone else could take care of it, and they did. It took 40 minutes out of our schedule, but if we would like to run through the forest again... it will be there! I'm glad we decided to take action and do something. The very next day I was reading the book where it talks about some of our society being more bystanders and less activist. I'm finding that when I need to ask the question "should I do some thing?" I have a problem!

Why shouldn't we do something? what is it we are afraid of? And why do I really care what someone else thinks? When it comes to doing the right thing, I don't think asking the question should even come up! I'm tired of hearing about none of us doing anything when all it really is is a bit of time. We all can not do everything but we can turn around, stop, and occasionally take action of some small sort to make things better. Pick up after our dogs, call in help to put out a fire (smoldering pile of ash) maybe it is as easy as not getting upset with our neighbours for having their names on the no-fogging list. We need to STOP being a society of bystanders!

Aside from my little experience, I also had a great feeling as someone got involved when my youngest got out of the yard the other day.He had opened the back gate of our yard and took his tricycle for a ride down the back ally and then onto the road. WOW! What an experience, to find him around the corner, my heart racing, only to find a nice couple had stopped to see if they could help him. It was nice for someone to recognize that a 3 year old shouldn't be out on the road by himself! I also learned that I need to get some locks higher up on the gate!!

The story I read about which brought me to a reality check this week was about a young woman who was raped and killed over the course of half an hour, in her neighbourhood. There were about 40 witnesses who all thought that someone else would do something and they needn't get involved. How Sad!

So a huge thank you to the couple who stopped to see if my child was okay!

And here is to getting involved....... (this is where we can all toast!)

Nicole

another truth revealed... hmmm

So I'm not sure where this is going but I think I have a need to babble on about ......

Had an interesting time staying focused during the lecture at bible study today. Usually I have a hard time at this point as my mind wanders to what is next on my list of things to do, but today I really tried hard to focus and again failed.

I am seeing some new things, maybe not so new in belief, just new in experience? First of all I have listened to my mother talk, as well as others, about being IN the word. Sounds kinda funny eh? The more mature in the Spirit will recognize this though. I have been spending more time reading the bible, as I have decided to take part in this study group. There are readings and questions to provoke your thoughts, then you get together to share what you think each question is asking and then after, you sit and listen to a lecture on the reading. There are notes to take home and read through as well before you get into the next weeks reading. One of the biggest things I have noticed is that the more time I spend reading and researching the question as well as my beliefs, the easier it is to see truths around me.

One of these truths would be the feeding of the flesh, or maybe the not feeding. I have found it easier to avoid the things not so good for me (talking about sugar here!). For lent I decided that I would try to give up a few things to explore this tradition. Cursing (I can have a nasty mouth), refined sugar (this is hard like trying to kick a bad habit) and the ever loved chocolate. Being more into reading and trying to digest all that is there for me to consume in this great book Have found my awareness for the cursing and I am able to reign it in much better than I have ever before. James 1:26 "If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight reign on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless." That sort of hits home. As I don't consider myself religious, but I do see this word religious as spiritual, and this I do want to consider myself. James 3:10 "Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers this should not be." And so it is that I do agree with James.

Of course the chapters we have also been studying have a fair amount of information and scriptures on obedience. John 15:10 "If you keep my commandments [if you continue to obey my instructions], you will abide in My love and live on in it, just as I have obeyed My Father's commandments and live on in His love." John 14:12 "The person who has My commands and keeps them is the one who [really] loves Me;and whoever [really] loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I [too] will love him and show (reveal, manifest) Myself to him.[I will let myself be clearly seen by him and make Myself real to him.]" So there we have it. To show our love for our Father we obey, listen, as well as we can. He knows us, and He is aware of our shortcomings, and yet He loves us anyways.

I guess the concluding thought to this would be that I seem to have it on my heart to keep the cussing in check. This is one way I can honour my God and His love for me. I can show my love for Him and all He has done for me in this act. And maybe, just maybe, the love for my family in Christ will shine through just a little bit more.

There will be more on this later as I figure out more of the details as I go and explore further, but for now I am glad to have found this understanding and to have it in my heart. From there I will have it near and I will be able to call on it when in need.

Have a great night.

So many lessons and it seems like there just isn't enough time to take it all in before the next one lands on your shoulders like an anvil in a looney tunes cartoon!

It has been a week since the long run across lake Winnipeg was cancelled. Last Sunday it was so hard to get up and out, and then to try to be 'of good cheer'? Good cheer has been translated for me as "take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted!" in John 16:33. hmmmmm Not the mood I was in, but that is the CHOICE, right? So we made it through another personal best distance run and that accomplishment felt great, but I have to admit that it was one of the hardest runs I have had in a very long time!

I was looking forward to the challenge of doing something that others think is a bit 'out there'. I guess that's me? Trying to tackle a run across a lake with a new distance in mind to cover, relying on my Lord to get me safely to the other side. Keeping my fear in check as I go, knowing that Gods' got my back, and my feet! That was the challenge I was so looking forward to. I'm a bit of a planner, this was my plan, until the run was cancelled last Saturday afternoon. I was devastated! Completely deflated, and feeling a bit lost! I had worked through fear and struggled with the what ifs and prepared as well as I could and was looking forward to finding God as He carried me through the troubles I may have encountered.

That is not what happened.

G, my running partner, was the one to recognize that the lesson was not about getting to the end of our run, it was how to get out there when we really felt disappointed. At this point of the morning I could have easily stayed in bed. We went out with no plan of where we were going to go. Gs' husband agreed to pick us up wherever we ended up. This was not going to be our usual out and back, it was just going to be an out to see where we ended up.

Did I mention I'm a bit of a planner?

I think I smiled and said 'sounds great', although I felt a bit lost as we went (actually I didn't know where I was for some of the run, just somewhere in Winnipeg). As I look back now I feel pretty great about trying something new, but it has taken me a few days to get here. Initially I found the run hard after about 10 miles. This is about the point that we left all familiar ground and started to find trails and paths, which were unplanned, but very interesting.

I heard a sermon this week that talked about lust. "Lust" she said "happens when you can not be happy without the thing that you want." When you cannot be happy without the thing you WANT. I guess I really wanted that run. I found it so hard to find joy last Sunday, I'm not sure if it was the challenge of the run across the lake I was lusting after, the doing something others thought was crazy, or just that my plans had to change. Still working this out, but knowing that there was something in the way of my being with Christ and finding joy.... hmmmmmm. Could have been my ego not getting the boost from an incredible crazy run?.

I think I have worked most of this out, but what a week of lessons that was!

So I look forward to this week and for our run Sunday morning, and I will find joy even if my plans are cut short, or the distance is not what I would liked to have done, or if whatever else happens happens!

I wish for you all a great week!

Nicole