It has been an interesting week. I was really sad to find out that a couple of friends who have been married for 15 years have decided to split up and separate.They were married a month after my husband and myself, we actually stole their wedding date, by accident (long story). There are no kids involved, a couple of dogs, a house and two adult lives.
I've decided that I think that I need to be a better friend. That this could happen and I stand by completely oblivious to it all? I am naturally naive, but here I now just feel neglect full. Not that I could have done anything at all but to not even have a clue that two close friends were in trouble? I am disappointed in my by standing behaviour and attitude.
This couple I have admired in many ways. They never minded the other had outside interests. They seemed to encourage each other in their separate interests. This is something I have admired over the years in this couple. This is all new so I probably don't and won't ever have the whole story. I don't need the story.I really just need it to know that I have to make a better effort to be a friend.
One of the running things I have said to have incorporated into my life is 'improve personal relationships', here I have previously failed. So now I will study harder. I will make more of an effort to be out there, caring and just being there when a friend needs me. Maybe even when they don't need me, just because.... that's what friends do!
There is the story of Job in the bible. There is a time in his life when all is lost, with the exception of his faith, and his friends gather around him. Allot of stupid things are said, all trying to make him feel better, but all he really needs is someone there to just be, to just be there. Nothing needs to be said, there is something to be said in not having to say something at all. Anyways, I need to put in the time to just be there. Nothing more, nothing less.
This brings to mind another situation where I was probably a bit neglect full of a dear friend by trying to be kind and not hurtful. All I can do now is pray and let them know that I am here, whenever the need arises, I am here. So that is what I will do, I will let them know I am here. Every month (every week seems stalker like) I will leave a message on their answering machine to let them know I miss them, and that is all. I won't let the situation get the better (bitter) of me. I will put the work into 'improving personal relationships'.
This is a hard lesson to look at, as I have always considered myself a really great person for a friend, but to see how I have taken my friendships for granted has once again led me to another lesson in humility. And a real eye opener to the world around me. This is not an easy thing to do, look at myself this closely inside, but after the shock of seeing those around me in such.....? Not sure what to call it, as things are seeming quite amicable right now with the separating couple.? To be so oblivious to those who have been hurting? Yes, it is time for me to step up the efforts! To go out of my way for those I love and hold dear to me.
So that is the only warning if you happen to be a friend of mine and are reading this, I love you all so dearly, you are such wonderful people, and I plan to make sure you know it!
Have a great week!
Nicole
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